The Hobbit: An Unexpected Blog Post

Okay, so...the Hobbit. It was a nice film. I enjoyed watching it. I probably enjoyed watching it more than I enjoyed reading the book, since I never particularly liked it and I’ve read it only once. However, I don’t really think it’ll leave any kind of mark on me. One of the reviews I’ve read said “three hours later, I don’t even know I saw a Hobbit”. Which covers it pretty well, I think. Not literally, of course, as a Tolkien fan, I’m bound to think about it quite a bit, but the story simply isn’t that memorable and the film doesn’t really bring anything new. The sceneries, the battles ... we know all of it already, from The Lord of the Rings. It still works well, but the wow effect simply cannot be there after all this time.

Now, to particulars. As for the technicalities, I’ve seen the Hobbit with Atmos sound, in 2D 24 fps version. I’ll probably go see it again in HFR, but for now, I can just comment on the sound. Overly it was great, of course, but sometimes it was also rather strange – in the same way that in a 3D movie, you sometimes have that one scene that is too obviously made for 3D, with things flying out of the screen in your face. In this case, it was sounds suddenly coming from behind you, sounds which are supposed to come from people (dwarves, hobbits, wizards, ...) on the screen. It was weird. The screen is in front of you, so hearing sounds from behind doesn’t make you connect it with the film. It’s just strange, as I said. There were about three or four instances of this in the Hobbit, nothing to cry about, but it was a bit irritating.

What was worse was the quality of some digital effects. Come one. This is Peter Jackson with his Weta, the supposed digital tricks gurus! So why do the eagles look like Gwaihir, if not worse? It was 12 years ago! Come to think of it, all of the animals were very obviously CGI, including the ones that didn’t have to be digital at all – what is the problem with getting real hedgehogs? So, I definitely expected more in this department. The eagles. Blah.

Most reviews I’ve read agree that the beginning is the weakest part of the film. I agree with that, too, but not because I think it was too slow. The pace of the film was just fine for me. But the beginning simply didn’t work. Instead of the instant charm of The Fellowship of the Rings (to which the film owes a lot of its success, I believe – once you’re sold, you’re willing to forgive a lot), there are strenuous attempts to refer back to it, which are too obvious and too frequent. I like allusions as much as the next fan, they make us enjoy it more, but I do like to see something else present, too. The first fifteen minutes or so are just one big allusion, plus a flashback to the history of Erebor which is very good in itself, but is connected to the rest rather clumsily. However, with the arrival of the dwarves, the films starts for real and the only bigger complaint I have after that are the repetitive battles. I realize Peter Jackson does, for some reason, love people jumping from somewhere to somewhere else, ideally while fighting, but in his past movies, it used to be once or twice per film, tops. Now, however, it’s the main motive of every single battle, and I’m not even exaggerating. No, wait, it’s not in the first confrontation with wargs. Perhaps that’s why it was so long (the only part of the film which I did think seemed to go on forever), Jackson kept looking for a place where the dwarves could jump.

Anyway. Apart from the aforementioned, it was, generally speaking, a pleasant experience. But being a nitpicking fan, I of course have a list of details that pleased me and irritated me. I’ll say the bad things first, so that I can end on a positive note.

The dwarves at Bilbo’s were too rough for my tastes. I know it’s pretty much what JRRT has written, but it forms too stark a contrast with the splendour of Erebor which is shown just a couple of minutes before.

The scene with the trolls was simply spoiled, from a fan’s point of view. It wasn’t bad as such, if you don’t know the book, but really. Cut some of your stupid jumping and keep real book material next time, Jackson, especially excellent one such as this. Why cut anything at all, anyway, when you make three films from one book? It’s not like you needed to make the scene shorter.

If the White Council we’ve seen is the main defence of Middle-Earth against the forces of darkness, they might as well all go and bow to Sauron now. Seriously. They were like that fourth grade class I was teaching just a day before – two of them secretly whispering (OK, talking telepathically – I confess my pupils can’t do that) and flirting, one apparently paying no attention at all, and one prattling on about how he can’t stand the one member that wasn’t present. I imagine the scene from Avengers, with Gandalf as Tony Stark, saying: “White Council. That’s what we call ourselves. Sort of like a team,” and the Necromancer as Loki, saying “Yes. I have seen,” with that wonderful irony of his. Also, Saruman is apparently so busy complaining about Radagast (and couldn’t he do it with the words he uses in the book? Did the screenwriter think he’ll write it better?) to think of a way to stop a group of dwarves who are about a kilometre away. A powerful wizard indeed.

And, why did Thranduil look like a dead gay model, and why was he riding a giant moose? Seriously.

(The albino orc antagonist was a bit irritating too, but I understand they though they needed a memorable bad guy that was closer than Dol Guldur or Lonely Mountain. Not that Smaug or the Necromancer are exactly “guys.”)

But hey, cheer up! Now come the good parts!

I was absolutely thrilled and exhilarated to see the elven army. Through the whole Lord of the Rings, it looked like the elves were just a bunch of hippies wearing pretty clothes, with the notable exception of Haldir and co. (who was not supposed to be there anyway), Arwen (which is even more absurd) and OK, Legolas. The Last Alliance is mentioned, but the only people we see in some real action are, well, people. So the ride from Rivendell really made my day. Their mounted return home, too. Finally, I could see some Noldor on that screen, instead of just a bunch of Vanyar (metaphorically speaking, naturally). Of course, the effect was spoiled by that vegetarian dinner right afterwards, but still. Me wants more elven armies! Me wants more cool elves on horses!

Many will disagree, but I loved Radagast. He was certainly different from what Tolkien wrote, but I think perhaps even (don’t hit me!) better. Tolkien just shows him as a complete fool, here, it is clear he has a lot of power as well. Personally, I think he was actually quite cunning.

I rather liked the goblins and how they were different from the orcs.

As I mentioned already, except for Thranduil, I loved the flashback to Erebor. The kingdom was certainly impressive.

One of the highlights are definitely the songs of the dwarves, both of them. That one from the trailer? Yeah, it’s even better in the film.

Gollum was excellent, as could have been expected. His mimics when thinking of answers to Bilbo’s riddles were absolutely priceless, but the entire scene was very well done.

Most of the main characters were played wonderfully. Bilbo and Thorin are especially worth mentioning, and Hugo Weaving was less Smithy and therefore much better than in the Lord of the Rings. I really liked him this time. Galadriel on the other hand stays as unGaladrielish as ever, but that can’t really change as long as Cate Blanchett plays her (I don’t mind the actress as such, I just hate her as Galadriel. Much like Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix. Filmmakers seem to be bent on ruining my favourite female characters.)

And last but not least, the best moment of the entire film: when the dragon head appears during the flashback to the fall of Erebor. Those who have seen the film will know what I mean. But, all right, the dragon head at the end wasn’t bad either. Looking forward to seeing the rest of it!